Two heads are better than one

So it stands to reason that one blog must be better than three. Seriously, I'm getting all multiple personality trying to keep everything separate. The reason I started three distinct ones is that Blogger, bless their souls, doesn't allow for tagging, and I wanted to be able categorize the posts. I finally broke down and made the switch to WordPress, so I consolidated the blogs into FeedYourNeed, and decided to host it on my own domain. I hope you'll come on over and visit:-)

Will summer never come?

After depositing my child safely in the arms of our local public Edifice of Schoolmentary, I return home, make a cup of sacred up-and-at-em [coffee], and begin my morning scroll through the blogosphere, part of my job, as a writer.

Today, however, TheBigE is home sick and instead of slaving over the homework packet the school so thoughtfully bundled up for us, I'm letting him play his GameCube. Hah.

He just ran in here for a little technical support:

TheBigE: "Mom, could you go on gamecheats.com and look me up some cheat codes for Lego Star Wars?"

Mom: "Sure, honey." types 'gamecheats.com' into the browser address window.

TheBigE: "Ummmm, Mom? I think you need that www in there, at the front."

Mom: "It's ok honey, the browser adds that automatically."

TheBigE: Totally unconvinced, "Then why isn't it coming up?"

Mom: "Well, broadband is fast but it's not instant."

TheBigE: "Unhuh." waiting suspiciously.

Mom: "See, look, now it's up!" prints out cheat codes and hands them off to wildly jumping offspring.

So now that I've taught him to blow off schoolwork for videogames and that cheating is ok, he's running back and forth from his room to my office, giving a blow-by-blow account of the ineffable coolness of the codes.

Does that count as P.E.?

My son, the dealmaker

Picking him up from school today:

Me: Peering into his bookbag and finding an untouched lunch. "So, I see you didn't eat any of your lunch today."

TheBigE: "Oh, well I had mini-corndogs today."

Me: "Corndogs?"

TheBigE: "Yeah, see....remember my mints? Well I traded them for my friend's hot lunch mini-corndogs. They're cool."

Me: Looking back into the bookbag and seeing the mint container still there "Then what's with this???" pulls mint cannister out of bag with an igotcha flourish

TheBigE: "Well, I just traded the mints, not the container. I wanted to keep that."

Sure enough, the tin was empty and some poor kid is walking around with fifty breathmints in his pocket and no corndogs in his belly.

He gets it from his father's side, I swear.

Like a Hawk

Neen: /neen/ adj. 1. (of the senses) sharp 2. coolq. excellent
neen'ly adv. neen'ness n.


"Good thing I have a neen eye, mom!"

--theBigE, upon discovering our long lost Oblivion book buried under my desk's notorious filing system. I disavow any knowledge of how it came to be there.

Old salt

We went sailing today. Thanks to Steve for hauling my ass out of the house. Thanks to Paul for providing the boat, excellent hospitality, and a rousing good time for all. Thanks to Greg for cheerfully hauling mucky anchors.

TheBigE spent his first two years on boats...literally. We lived on one until he was trached. This was his first time back on a boat since he was a toddler. His face was split in a perpetual grin. He got his sea legs back amazingly fast and has decided we need to sail a whole heck of a lot more. His favorite thing is the "turning real fast a lot". In addition to tacking, he loves being so heeled over that the rails are submerged and you're standing straight up...sideways in the boat:-)

Farts

Farting, my son assures me, is an art form whose importance cannot be underestimated. He practices dilligently, searching for that elusive perfect fart. Tone, duration and bouquet are all factors. Points are awarded for timing and form.

The other day, he let one that was sort of syncopated into two sections. "Mommm!! Did you hear that??!! Two chapters!!!!" It was a proud moment for all;-)

Ghost Detector

Watching a kids' ghost movie with TheBigE:

Main character goes into a creepy old house alone.

Mom: I bet the ghosts are going to come and get her now (bwahhaahaaa)!

TheBigE: I don't think so mom.

Mom: What do you mean??? Scary house, spooky music, little girl all alone wandering around...the ghost has to come now.

TheBigE: Well...the front door stayed open. In scary movies the bad stuff usually happens after the front door slams shut by ghost power or something.

On screen, an unseen cat makes a hideous screeching sound. Our hero gets scared and runs outside.

TheBigE: See, it was only a cat. And the front door is still open.

W00t!! TheBigE as Link from Legend of Zelda

Pumpkins! Yay...Pumpkins!!!!

How to Camp-Out in Your Living Room

1. Clear carpet of any miscellaneous lego pieces/pinecones/rocks
2. Forgo the tent
3. MacGuyver your couch cushins into a comfortable on-the-floor backrest
4. Install pillows, Thermarest pads, and sleeping bags in the appropriate places adjacent to your backrest.
5. Snack in your bag without worrying about bears
6. Watch Dragons: Fire & Ice with your boy. He'll be convinced it dosen't get any better than this.
7. Watch Mars twinkling out your picture window
8. Wake up in the morning to a deleriously happy kiddo who wants to always sleep in the living room:-)

Growing up

Bathtime is usually an opportunity for Battle of the Wills. The other night, I started the water and then gave E his transitional 5 minute warning regarding the impending Bath of Doom. Next thing we know, there is an alien splashing noise emanating from the bathroom.

MyFavHuman: Did you put E in the tub?
Me: No, did you?
MyFavHuman: Umm...no.

He just up and hopped in the tub, adjusted the temperature to his liking and got on with the business of getting clean.

Lexicon: TheBigESpeak_1

TheBigE has a rich and far-ranging vocabulary, however he still retains some humorous pronounciation holdovers from having been trached and battling chronic sinus infections. This is the beginning of a compilation of our favorites:-)


The Grabbling Hook: [noun] a tool consisting of several hooks for grasping and holding;often thrown with a rope [source: WordNet (r) 1.7][usage] "Look at that cool GI Joe grabbling hook! If I had one of those for reals, I would play with it all the time!"

Twinkerbell:
Mischivous pixe renown for misbehaving. First appeared in Barrie's Peter Pan, presently can be found strafing Disneyland with fairy dust. [usage] "Do you remember in Peter Pan when that Twinkerbell got those boys that were lost to shoot Wendy? How did she do that??"

Wondermarks

Last year, working on a story with TheBigE:

TheBigE: I think I need to put a wondermark.
Mom: A what?
TheBigE: You know...a wondermark. Because I'm wondering something in this part.
Mom: Hmmmm...do you mean a question mark, like this? [squiggles mark on page]
TheBigE: A what?
Mom: Question mark.
TheBigE: Oh. Um, yeah...but I like wondermark better.

Revisiting Sanity

My blog CheckYourBaggage deals with the traumatic crap that comes with having a completly perfect kid who happens to have a disability. I really need to vent and it's great for that.

Sometimes you get so buried in crisis that it's hard to remember the good times that kept you sane. That's what this is for. A little vacation for the stress monkey.